by far the funniest reason my dad came up with for why he doesn’t want me to work in the funeral/mortuary industry is because it’s “unattractive”. like man do you think i apply to jobs based on their impact on my tinder profile.
it’s even funnier that how wrong he is too. if i work in the morgue i’ll get bitches you couldn’t even imagine.
Me: After years of watching you and your brother gifting each other Amazon gift cards back and forth for every birthday, I asked if I could pick the next gift for your brother to…shake things up a bit. And you agreed.
Husband: Right, but–
Me: I knew I needed to pick something that would shock you both out of a decade of nothing beyond every-other-month, strictly-small-talk obligatory phone calls.
Husband: Please stop villain-monologuing for a minute.
Me: I had to find the gift that would force you to start a dialogue.
Husband: That still doesn’t explain–
Me: Raccoon toe bones made perfect sense after hours of searching for a gift that would prompt a “Why?” instead of just a “Thanks.”
Husband: …Mark said there were also raccoon teeth.
Me: It sounds like you two had a very interesting conversation!
Husband: I wish you weren’t so pleased with yourself right now.
Our Japanese class found it funny that in common terminology “food” isn’t very distinguished from specifically “rice” until it was pointed out to us that in English “meal” is “loose roughly ground grain”
The above examples have been provided with the authors’ permission to demonstrate what these look like.
Basic rundown:
They are all 3 sentences long
Perfect grammar, capitalization, and punctuation
Like absolutely flawless English teacher-style writing with only a single exclamation mark, ever
No mentions whatsoever of character names, settings, situations, or anything that could be tied to the story
The usernames may be identical to people who exist on ao3, but the name is not clickable, and no profile is associated with it EXCEPT when you directly search for that name. What this means: the comments come from an unregistered (not logged in) reader, bots scrape the site for real usernames, attach that to the comment, and post
Please spread the word about this so authors can filter comments and report them accordingly
There has been some speculation about why this is happening at all, and the best guess is that this is a feature that AI-training story-scraping tools are implementing to try and make their browsing traffic look legitimate
ALT
